Bengay, LSD, whatever...

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I've been battling something called "Nursemaid's Elbow" for a few months now. It has recently been getting quite a bit worse though. It's become quite painful if I've been using it a lot or lifting and holding things quite a bit that day. I've tried ibuprofen and meds like that, and quite honestly, they do a pretty good job of dealing with the soreness, but I get a little worried about popping pills all the time. I'm not a big fan of meds, especially pills. So, I'm in Dollar General the other day looking at diaper cream (will this child ever potty train?), and I see the Bengay, and I think to myself, "Well, it might work, and it's not a pill!". So I grab the tube, pay my bill and leave.
Now, I should confess that I've never used any kind of muscle or arthritis cream or any of this stuff before. I've heard that it can be a little stinky to some and that it has a mild sensation to it, but that's really all I know about the stuff. The evening wore on and I got ready for bed after putting Grace down for the night.
So, I'm standing in the bathroom with my tube of Bengay thinking that I should put it on now so that it will help knock off the ache & I can sleep. At least that was the plan. I squeeze the tube and smear a large glob of cream on my elbow and upper & lower arm. Ooooooooooo, it's tingly and MINTY FRESH. Now, I should mention that I'm battling some illness & a cold right now. The minty smell is welcome since it opens up my head. Ah..... that's nice. This is kind of cool. I'm tingly and it smells good in here. But wait, I'm starting to have a hard time breathing through all the menthol. OK, the smell is nice, but it's getting a bit heavy. So I leave the bathroom looking for fresh air.... wait, the smell follows me everywhere.
Everywhere I go it stinks!
Oh well, it will do my head some good if I can just manage to breath. The tingling sensation has turned into a bit more on the side of a warming sensation... still nice. I lay down, cover up, Courtney comments on the smell, but we agree it's probably good for my sinuses right now anyway. The warming sensation is turning into a BURNING sensation. I realize that my idea to put this stuff on before bed may have been a mistake. It's late, we're tired, and I'm AWAKE. My arm is burning, my head is on overload with menthol, and Courtney's telling me to be quiet. How can I be quiet with this weird tactile sensory overload going on? I can't sleep, I can't concentrate, I can't take anymore of this nonsense.
I've never done any drugs like LSD, but I've heard stories from people about what that sort of thing is like-how it affects your senses. I'm beginning to think this Bengay stuff is like LSD for the skin. I'm definitely on overload and on the verge of a major trip of the skin.
Just as I think I'm about to go berzerk and run around with a bean bag on my head yelling "I'm a mushroom! I'm a mushroom!", the BURNING finally settles back down to a tingle, and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It fades more and more, and I think to myself that I'll never do that before I go to bed again.
Good grief.


Stormy November 30, 2008 at 12:10 PM  

thanks for making me laugh...not that your tingling, burning, Bengay induced trip was funny (for you) - it's just that your post is so well written and I understand every minute of it! I Love Bengay.

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